2013 AL West Predictions: WWF Royal Rumble Edition

Royal Rumble

Just to make it clear, I had the Genesis version. At no point in my life did I ever own an SNES. I miss this game. How can ya not miss something this awesome and epic? Bret Hart’s Sharpshooter, Shawn Michaels’ Sweet Chin Music, and Hulk Hogan’s Leg Drop alone make this game legendary. So, to breakdown the American League West, I thought this game would be the “Perfect” vehicle to get me through. Each team will be assigned (graded) with a wrestler from the game…. yes, even the Astros will get somebody

And I’ll be using the character line-up from the Sega Genesis version opposed to the alternate characters available on the SNES version.

Let’s Get Ready To RRRUMBLE!!!!!!!

WWF - Royal Rumble Still

AL West Division Winner and Heavyweight Champion of the World
Los Angeles Angels

HULK HOGAN
HulkamaniaWhatcha gonna do when Angels-mania runs wild on you?!? Josh Hamilton joins a potent roster that includes Albert Pujols, and phenom Mike Trout. With the addition of all-star OF Hamilton (also the loss of Hamilton from the Texas Rangers) it is very, very difficult to predict anything other than a division crown for the Angels. It’s like thinking Hulk Hogan would actually lose a title match… you just can’t picture it. The Hulkster could go blow-for-blow with anyone during his illustrious career, winning matches and then winning some more. I think the Angels will be emulating that winning formula all season long in 2013. LA experienced some woes last season, and eventually missed the playoffs with a team that had similar hype to this years version. That won’t happen again.

2nd Place – Wild Card BerthTexas Rangers
“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE

Randy Savage has passed on, but his legend will live on forever. Just watch this hilarious clip and you’ll find yourself trying to imitate his voice. OHH YEEAAAA! I thought it was fitting to give the Texas Rangers a champion of their own. 1) They actually did win the division last season and still have a very good team. 2) They’ve been to the World Series 2 out of the last 3 seasons, so they are pretty much the number one contender, just like Macho Man was to the Hulkster. Kinsler, and Beltre are the pillars this line-up feeds off of and I have no worries about what they will do. But I’m wary of the Rangers pitching staff. Darvish can strike a ton of guys out, but he needs to find his control for a whole season. Past Darvish, I’m not really a huge fan even though Derek Holland and Matt Harrison have gotten the job done the past few years. Pitching in Arlington probably doesn’t help my perception either. The Rangers will be a force and grab a wild card ticket to the postseason.

3rd PlaceOakland Athletics
Rick Martel
“THE MODEL” RICK MARTEL
Billy Beane basically created “the model” for how MLB players are now scouted and franchises are now assembled. So picking Rick Martel was pretty easy. It also made sense because Rick Martel is absolutely no threat to Hulk Hogan or Macho Man, just like the A’s will not be a threat to the Angels or Rangers this season. I give mad props to Oakland for last seasons run, but I just don’t see the magic happening again this season. I think the line-up is actually improving though. Thankfully Billy realized that great defense is good, but a team actually has to score a run to win a game and added some offense into the mix in 2012 with Josh Reddick and Yoenis Cespedes. Hopefully for the A’s sake, Brett Anderson manages to stay healthy, but who knows at this point. He’s like a modern day Mark Prior.. oh wait, I forgot Prior is actually still in the league. Bottom line, the pitching could be a problem. Anyway, “The Model” will not complete for the AL West crown. 

4th PlaceSeattle Mariners
wwf crushCrush
Seattle hasn’t had a team worth noting in over 10 years. Sadly, Crush isn’t really that note worthy either. The Mariners haven’t had any hitters who could crush the ball in forever. This year, the they decided change up the small ball approach by acquiring guys like Michael Morse, and Kendrys Morales to hit in the middle of their line-up. Really the only other thing I have to say about Seattle is that they’re probably ecstatic that the Houston Astros have joined the division. So Houston can repeatedly finish in last instead of them.

Last PlaceHouston Astros
Papa ShangoPAPA SHANGO
I don’t even remember seeing Papa Shango ever wrestle. The only reason I know of him is from playing WWF Royal Rumble. Apparently he later became a wrestler named “The Godfather”… but that doesn’t really matter. So he already has 2 things very much in common with the Houston Astros –  No one remembers the last time they saw Houston play (win), and Houston doesn’t really matter. Yes, that includes you Carlos Pena! Jose Altuve and Bud Norris are two bright spots. Other than those two, there might be a potential fantasy baseball sleeper on this team somewher. So, I guess Houston has that going for them….

Just in case you missed my predictions for the AL East, and AL Central… feel free to catch up! My National League predictions will be coming soon.

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2 thoughts on “2013 AL West Predictions: WWF Royal Rumble Edition

  1. Whaaaat? Seeeega? You really missed out this time, Yeah! Though if SNES was the Hulkster, Sega would still be full of Macho Madness, Yeah! Elizabeth understands what I’m talking about, uh huh, because the beat goes on. Did I mention that the Fishman is the best professional Fishman that ever lived? And he’s living right now, Yeah! They’re saying he can’t dance, but he CAN make romance, right there in the fork in the blog, Yeah!….also…baseball…YEAH!

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