TV Commercial Fails: KISS Edition – Who Bombed It Worse?


You wanted the best, you got the best… or did we?

2 members of KISS. 2 completely awful commercials. After watching both, there is really only 1 question to ask: Who bombed it worse??

I watched both videos multiple times. And after much more review than should ever be taken. I have a few thoughts. But most importantly – I’ve determined a winner (or.. in this case, the biggest loser).

First up – Paul Stanley in a TV spot for Folgers Coffee.

First off, I gotta say that I think Paul actually sounds pretty good singing this little number. Though, I’m not sure who wrote that song, or the premise of Paul walking aimlessly around an empty circus? Lol! Overall, it’s just kinda weird. I dig it though. Like a movie that’s so bad it’s good. Basically like any Stallone flick since Cliffhanger and Demolition Man in ’93. No surprise here that this ad never made it to air.

Second – Ace Frehley in a spot for Dunkin’ Donuts.

Wow, lol!! I don’t even believe that is Ace’s voice when “he” slurs, “I’ll give you a P&L statement.” I have no idea whether this ad aired or not? With Ace in make-up, it’s definitely Reunion Tour/Psycho Circus era (I’m guessing this is ’96ish). Not sure what Ace is even trying to play? But it sounds like a bunch of garbage… Dunkin’ Donuts will probably never collaborate with KISS on another project after this showing.

So – Who bombed it worse?!??

Before I get too far into this.. I have to admit this post originally was going to be a battle of unheard of proportions: Who is the coolest man in America – John Stamos or Rob Lowe?

Seemed like it had such promise. Maybe I’ll come back to that idea another day… At least a John Stamos related post.

Anyway… I was pretty sure who I was going to anoint as the winner in this commercials gone bad bout. But after 10 views each, my opinion swayed to the contender in the opposite corner. Hopefully we get some reaction in the comment section to confirm my findings. So, without further ado…

The winner is (again, this title is probably not worth boasting) MR. ACE FREHLEY!

It all came down to execution. Paul is a singer. Yes, his commercial is completely embarrassing. And the material was not fully recognized and bad. But he didn’t let his guard down regarding his trade. Ace, on the other hand, was the embarrassing part of the Dunkin Donuts ad. He let all of his fellow guitar-clad kin down. Whatever that raucous he was playing… terrible. Ace, that was quite the bomb.


5 replies to “TV Commercial Fails: KISS Edition – Who Bombed It Worse?

  1. Johnny agrees with this most excellent adventure of an assessment. The Folgers commercial is pretty lame, but it still sort of makes sense if you close your eyes and listen to the voice. But the donut one. Hhahaha…that was retarded. ‘Nuff said. That’s right. Johnny said “Nuff”.

  2. Matt and “The Milk” are totally wrong on this one. The Ace commercial is great. Proving that Dunkin Donuts is good for your morning start by showing that Ace would play a spazzed out guitar at a board meeting makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. But it succeeds as a commercial because I want to play a jacked up guitar with sparklers like jacked up Ace. Mission accomplished.

    Paul’s commercial is heinous and doesn’t make me want to buy Folgers at all. He looks like a creeper who’s walking around with chub watching the acrobat practice. At no time did he make a single cool moment and we’re all less cool for having watched it. He’s awarded no points (or in this case, the win) and may god have mercy on his soul.

  3. By the way, if Dunkin Donuts was honest, they’d tell that poor lady that drinking a 600 calorie frozen latte each morning may help her success at work, but will inevitably lead her to being a lonely big fat chubster in her personal life.

  4. Given the IQ of the common man, aka Mr. Fresh, I do indeed concede his point. The Dunkin Donuts commercial may actually work better for its target audience of the stupid donut-by-the-dozen-eating masses. Which, by the way, sounds like something The Milk kinda wants to be now…if only for the sparkling guitar…and the donuts…. Now to your second point: that new chubster will not be lonely. Not while Johnny “The Chubster-Loving Milk” is alive. He’ll feed her donuts and Milk alll daay loooong.

  5. Thank goodness you took the high road and didn’t say you’d be happy to “glaze her furry donut” or something like that. I hate when people use distasteful sexual language like that. Kids could be reading Horn’s blog.

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